there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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