last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
