next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
