Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
