after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
