Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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