A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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