Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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