sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
