So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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