No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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