I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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