Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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