wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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