dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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