I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
