I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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