One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
