Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
