I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
