Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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