i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
they call him Oral-B. enough said
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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