For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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