I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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