I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
