At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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