My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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