I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
