somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
