There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
