is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
