So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
