Umm I'm too high to move.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
