I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
