Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
