got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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