man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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