Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
sick fucks of a feather flock together
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
