The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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