LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
