So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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