just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
