I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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