My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
