just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
