He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
