Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
