Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
