What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dicks are not precious.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
