Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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